New View with Nikhol B. Jackson
TDR: What issues are you most passionate about in your community?
Nikhol: Mental and emotional health and holistic well-being (mind, body and spirit). Families transitioning from dysfunctional living to happy, healthy, holistic functional living.
TDR: Where are most of your philanthropy efforts typically directed when serving?
Nikhol: Women and families.
TDR: How would you describe your leadership style?
Nikhol: My overall leadership style is Warm, Encouraging and Supportive. I am learning to walk more comfortably in the newest adjectives that I would add to this list; Direct, Assertive and Unapologetic. For years I struggled with guilt of having to disappoint others when things I planned to deliver on could not be done in the matter in which I had wanted. In business, in the business of serving others, I have had to learn to focus on what I can control, be intentional about those things, be clear and direct about the expectations of others charged with assisting me in manifesting things and to not beat myself up for the pitfalls that come.
TDR: What is the most painful lesson that you’ve learned that has helped you become who you are today?
Nikhol: I discovered 2 years ago that I suffered from an addiction. The addiction of perfectionism. Most people do not know that this even exists. I did not and I am a mental health clinician. The background: in life most things came easy for me growing up. The grades, the friends, extra-curricular activities, the clothes I wanted, being accepted into the colleges I wanted to go to, landing my first real job with a Fortune 500 company before even graduating, everything. That is until my 20's. Once I began to experience life on my own terms I began to have small reality checks that shock me to my core. I was not in control, my "perfect" bubbles began to burst. Getting pregnant before marriage, was not part of my perfect plan, bubble burst. The death of my daughter...I am a woman, I am supposed to bring forth life, not death, bubble burst. Church hurt, having to leave the church I grew up in, bubble burst. Failed business partnerships, the loss of my house, my cars, relationship issues in marriage, depression, loss of my faith, bubble burst after bubble burst.
As I stand now on the other side of all these things and more today I am more self-aware than I have ever been. I realize that it was not just these experiences alone that caused me stress and grief, but it was coupled by my mindset... My idea that things had to be a certain way, "perfect," that added to my grief. I now give myself a pep talk and a break when I feel the urge of perfectionism arising. I encourage and speak life over myself instead of tearing myself down when things do not go according to plan. And most importantly I share my testimony with others, whether I know what they are going through or not, because I know that if God can bring me through what I have been through, then he can and will do it for others. We are all Perfectly Imperfect and that is OK.
TDR: What would people be surprised to know that you have had to overcome?
Nikhol: Grief & Depression after a series of personal losses. The death of my first child in 2002, financial pitfalls in business and personal areas, loss of my faith all resulting in total / complete restructuring of my life in 2015. I had spent several years of my life doing what "I" wanted to do, making excuses for my behavior along the way. Hitting rock bottom and seeing how the decisions I had made impacted my family was a reality check for me. I re-dedicated my life back to Christ, linked arms with good coaches and mentors and went to THERAPY. God is so good, in the midst of my mess, he never once let us fall and continued to show up and show out in our lives! Once I made the decision to be obedient my life changed forever. I am so thankful for Grace, Mercy, Protection and Favor.
TDR: Who are 3 leaders that you look up to?
Nikhol: Michelle Obama, Oprah, and Pastor Kim Jones-Poither.
TDR: What are 3 of your favorite books?
Nikhol: Transforming Your Life, 7 Steps to the life you dream of, desire and deserve by Nikhol B. Jackson, The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian, and The Bible.
TDR: What is your best advice for emerging leaders?
Nikhol: Be the change that you want to see. You have to be willing to do your own work and walk in your authentic truth in order to lead and guide others in a space where you are respected. True leaders serve and you have to make sure you’re serving from an overflowing cup (one overflowing with holistic health - mind, body and spirit) so that you can effectively serve others.
TDR: How would you finish this sentence…”5 years ago I was,”?
Nikhol: All over the place...Just had our 2nd living child, who was born prematurely and had a heart defect. I put my business and career on hold to be a stay at home mother for my daughter and the 2 additional children that would later come. What was initially one of the hardest years of my life, turned out to be the beginning of the most 4 rewarding years of my life as a mother. I had always longed to be at home with my children to see them play, learn and grow every day and I lived that dream to the fullest.
TDR: How would you finish this sentence…”5 years from now I hope to,”?
Nikhol: I hope to have made a difference in the lives of others. I hope to have a thriving behavioral health practice that impacts lives and changes the dynamics of families daily. I hope to travel the world speaking on the goodness of God and teaching / coaching others how to transform their lives by improving their mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health.
TDR: If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be and why?
Nikhol: FAVORED. When I didn't deserve it, he did it anyway. When I thought I would lose my mind, he gave me peace. When I thought I would never be happy again, he restored my joy. When I gave up on my dreams, he sent me a partner and pusher, someone who would pray until something happened and would not let me give up on me. When I thought it was all over, he set things up so that it would only be the beginning of the best to come... God has turned my Mess into my Message and my Message into my Ministry.
TDR: What are some of your current initiatives that people can support you?
Nikhol: The Healing Place Inc. our non-profit arm that strives to bring awareness to the community via free / low cost workshops, events and other opportunities; is in need of financial assistance so that we are able to continue our work of spreading the message of Hope, Healing, Peace and Recovery of the Mind, Body and Spirit to those in need, those who may never step foot into a counselor's office and or a church. Donations can be made on our Go Fund Me Page "The Healing Place."
Connect with Nikhol:
Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Pintrest, LinkedIn : Nikhol B. Jackson
Twitter, Periscope : @jajcounseling